Bush Says ‘Blunt’ Bolton Will Be an Asset at U.N.

“John Bolton’s a blunt guy. Sometimes people say I’m a little too blunt,” Bush told a news conference.

No, sir. We didn’t say you’re too blunt. What we said is you’re not the sharpest knife in the drawer. There’s a difference.

“If we expect the United Nations to be effective, it needs to clean up its problems. And I think it makes sense to have somebody representing the United States who will be straightforward about the issues.”

“John Bolton can get the job done,” Bush added.

Absolutely. The United Nations is rife with problems. For example, they’re seriously deficient in the Department Of Letting The U.S. Do Whatever The Fuck It Wants. And their Ministry Of Bowing To American Hegemony is totally corrupt.

John Bolton brings to the job more than twenty years of diverse experience, expert knowledge, and total disregard for others’ interests. He’s as American as apple pie, baseball, and depleted uranium-induced birth defects.