Halliburton Iraq deals described as contract abuse

A top U.S. Army procurement official said on Monday Halliburton’s deals in Iraq were the worst example of contract abuse she had seen as Pentagon auditors flagged over $1 billion of potential overcharges by the Texas-based firm.

Hey, now! Watch your accusations, there! Halliburton won those contracts fair and square, amongst intense competition from all of the companies whose former CEO is Vice President Dick Cheney.

Look. People make mistakes. It happens. You’re doing your accounting, shifting money between your shell company in the island tax shelter of Vanatau and your money laundering operation in the Cayman Islands and — oops! — you add an extra zero to the bill.

It’s like that time you miscounted your drawer when you were working the cashier shift at Burger King, except instead of trying to cover up for the free fries you gave your friend Dave, you have to cover up for the free fries you gave to the entire population of China.

Her blistering criticism came as the Democrats released a new report including Pentagon audits that identified more than $1.03 billion in “questioned” costs and $422 million in “unsupported” costs for Halliburton’s work in Iraq.

I’d love to take a peek at those “questioned” costs. “We spent $332 million dollars on jellybeans and Swiffer dust mops? What the fuck?”

“Alright, who authorized the $126 billion for subscriptions to Shaved Beaver and Ass Happy? Ashcroft, was that you again?”