NASA defends possible shuttle safety rule waiver

NASA is prepared to waive a flight safety rule so it can launch space shuttle Discovery on the first mission since the 2003 Columbia accident if a fuel sensor glitch reoccurs, managers at the U.S. space agency said on Monday.

Yeah, boys! That’s it! That’s the spirit! Fuck the rules! Who needs fuel anyway, right? It’s the Space Shuttle, fueled by a potent mixture of liquid hydrogen and American stupidity. Gauges say the hydrogen is low, but wouldn’t you know it — stupidity is high!

All systems are go!

The malfunction involving one of four hydrogen fuel sensors forced NASA to postpone Discovery’s first launch attempt on July 13. For its second liftoff attempt on Tuesday, NASA is considering changing a rule that all four sensors must be working.

At least NASA stands by its motto: Slow and steady wins the race, but sloppy and reckless gets us to space.

NASA spokesman Bruce Buckingham said technicians spotted a “small ding” on one of the tiles that protects the spaceship from superheated atmospheric gases on re-entry into the Earth’s atmosphere, and it was “swapped out.”

God damn it! I go into Wal-Mart for 10 minutes to get some Twizzlers and a six-pack of Schlitz, and next thing I know, my Shuttle’s got a ding in it. Runaway shopping cart put a dent on the driver’s side door, right next to the solid fuel booster rocket.

Damn near ruined my nightly NASCAR masturbation fantasy.