MadeYouThink.org

When the founding fathers added Freedom Of Speech to the First Amendment, I’m pretty sure this is what they had in mind.

TV Anchor Sues Former Color Me Badd Singer

The 35-year-old Abrams was one of the founding members of the Oklahoma-based quartet, whose debut album, “C.B.M.,” sold more than 8 million copies. Their hits included “I Wanna Sex You Up” and “I Adore Mi Amor.”

[He] now works in an Oklahoma City tire store.

That’s right. The One With The Vanilla Ice Hair is now hawking Goodyears.

Don’t even ask what happened to The One Who Looked Like George Michael. Hell, the REAL George Michael was reduced to soliciting gay sex in a public park restroom. How good could it have turned out for his lookalike? I don’t know, but I’ll bet the words “donkey porn” and “fisting” are involved somehow.

I’ll bet you can’t guess who wrote this: “I like a girl that loves romance. Someone I can cherish, hold and who doesn’t mind taking walks with me on the beach, or even gazing into my eyes underneath a starlit night as I read her poetry and express exactly what she means to me.”

No, it wasn’t 50 Cent. Tupac Shakur? Guess again.
That’s right. It was The Token Black Guy.

Hey guys, what’s up with the album cover? I can almost hear the photographer directing this shoot:

“You guys are bad boys! Not just bad — you’re BADD! You’re ‘kick his ass and fuck his girlfriend’ kind of guys. Got it?”

“Now, show me … bad!”

“Show me … angry!”

“Show me … kissy lips!”

Bush Family Hosts White House Reporters

President Bush played host to the White House press corps Thursday night for a private off-the-record dinner at his ranch.

The casual affair of fried catfish, potato salad, coleslaw, homemade cheese and chocolate-chip cookies followed a tradition in which Bush and his wife, Laura, have the press covering his annual August vacation out to the their ranch in central Texas as a sort of thank-you.

It just goes to show you what gracious people the President and his wife are, thanking the press corps for a job well done.

If you’re in the White House press corps, keep your eyes open for invites to September’s “Thanks For Not Reporting On My Impeachable Offenses” pancake breakfast, and the annual wintertime “We Appreciate You Acting As A Mouthpiece For Our Talking Points” cookies-and-milk luncheon.

And of course, this spring, the entire press corp is invited back to the ranch for a relaxing afternoon of — what else? — lobbing softballs.

Troops’ Gravestones Have Pentagon Slogans

Unlike earlier wars, nearly all Arlington National Cemetery gravestones for troops killed in Iraq or Afghanistan are inscribed with the slogan-like operation names the Pentagon selected to promote public support for the conflicts.

Families of fallen soldiers and Marines are being told they have the option to have the government-furnished headstones engraved with “Operation Enduring Freedom” or “Operation Iraqi Freedom”.

Also available:

• I (heart) Donald Rumsfeld.
• I Was Killed Looking For Non-Existent WMDs, And All I Got Was This Lousy Tombstone.
• I Feel Used.
• Cheney/Rumsfeld ‘08!
• The Rich Get Richer. The Poor Get Shot Dead Through The Side Of An Unarmored Humvee.

The owner of the company that has been making gravestones for Arlington and other national cemeteries for nearly two decades is uncomfortable, too.

“It just seems a little brazen that that’s put on stones,” said Jeff Martell, owner of Granite Industries of Vermont. “It seems like it might be connected to politics.”

That’s an absurb insinuation. Putting the Pentagon’s operation name on the tombstone has nothing to do with politics.

It’s just that names like “Operation Enduring Freedom” and “Operation Iraqi Freedom” are more succint than “That War Where We Invaded A Non-Hostile Country For No Damn Reason, Therefore Destabilizing The Entire Middle East And Creating A New Generation Of Terrorists Who Will Blow Themselves Up On A Subway Train During Rush Hour To Avenge The Death Of Their Brothers Killed By Cluster Bombs During A Wedding Reception.”

Former Sen. Max Cleland, D-Ga … called the practice “a little bit of glorified advertising.”

“I think it’s a little bit of gilding the lily,” Cleland said, while insisting that he’s not criticizing families who want that information included.

“Most of the headstones out there at Arlington and around the nation just say World War II or Korea or Vietnam, one simple statement,” he said. “It’s not, shall we say, a designated theme or a designated operation by somebody in the Pentagon.”

Okay. Maybe it is a little bit of advertising. It’s actually a guerilla marketing campaign for the premiere of next summer’s Operation Enduring Freedom: The Ride.

Children under 5 and multiple amputees ride free!

Nun’s wild dancing earns her a reprimand

A Belgian nun’s acrobatic and indecorous dancing with a missionary during the Catholic World Youth Day in Germany over the weekend earned her a reprimand from her mother superior, a Belgian paper said Tuesday.

“I wouldn’t do this at home but at such occasions I get carried away by the enthusiasm of the group,” the 29-year-old told the paper later.

“Enthusiasm” was also blamed for the nun’s other weekend indiscretions, including streaking across the altar during the Gospel reading, winning the parish’s wet t-shirt contest, and participating in an anal gangbang with the Philadelphia Boy’s Choir.