Britney Spears Prays for Hurricane Victims

“Dear Jesus. Please help all those unfortunate people whose lives were swept away in a torrent of wet, holy fury so they can get their lives — and my CDs — back.”

“And please make the people of America charitable enough to send money to the victims.”

“And please lower the price of my gas so I can fly my hubby Kevin to Texas in my private jet to buy my favorite barbeque sauce. Amen.”