Poll: Americans See, Hear More Profanity

Nearly three-quarters of Americans questioned last week – 74 percent – said they encounter profanity in public frequently or occasionally, according to an Associated Press-Ipsos poll.

Fuck that piece-of-shit poll. Goddamned assholes.

Who gives a shit if people curse too much? Big fucking deal. Jesus Christ, they’re just words, people! What are they going to do, come out and bite you on the fucking ass?

Instead of rallying against bad words, how about you cocksuckers rally against bad actions?

How about you stop worrying about our filthy fucking language, and you start worrying about the dickhead from your church who beats his wife because she drank the last can of Schlitz, and sends his kids out at 3AM to buy him meth because he’s too goddamned stoned and/or lazy to get off his ass to ruin his own shitty life?

How about some fucking accountability for the people who have mismanaged this country into the ground? How about standing up against words like “freedom” and “democracy” and “liberty” when they’re used as rhetorical devices as empty and meaningless as the black, gaping maw of Dick Cheney’s soul?

If you’re going to take a stand on words, take a stand on words that actually fucking hurt people.

Listen to this: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck piss shit cunt balls cocksucker dicklicker fucking bitch ass motherfucker.

Anybody dead from that? No. Good. Let’s continue.

Now listen to this quote from our President: “We are implementing a strategy that will lead to victory in Iraq. And a victory in Iraq will make this country more secure and will help lay the foundation of peace for generations to come.”

Anybody dead from that? No. Unless you count:

3/27: At least 30 killed in Iraq recruitment center blast

3/26: Thirty bodies, many beheaded, found in Iraq

3/24: Five killed in mosque blast north of Baghdad

3/23: 33 killed in Baghdad car bombings

3/22: Thirteen Shiite pilgrims killed in Baghdad attacks

3/21: Insurgents storm police station, free 30 detainees

3/20: Nine more bodies found in Baghdad. “The discoveries bring the number of bodies found in Baghdad to 186 in the last eight days, the official said.”

3/18: 22 bodies found in Baghdad

3/16: Another 25 bodies found in Baghdad

3/14: More than 80 dead in apparent reprisals

3/13: Bodies marked ‘traitor’ found in Baghdad

3/12: Car bombs kill at least 46 in Sadr City

3/8: Dozens of Iraqi security workers abducted

3/7: Car bombs, other attacks kill 10 in Iraq

And, just for a good, hearty, fucking laugh:

Rumsfeld: Situation in Iraq ‘exaggerated’ by media

Cheney: Iraq not in civil war, predicts success

And that’s just in the last three fucking weeks. This war has been dragging on for three goddamned YEARS.

When our President says we are “implementing a strategy that will lead to victory in Iraq,” when what we’re really doing is starting a civil war that has people so scared they can’t leave their fucking basements without worrying they’ll get their heads cut off, he doesn’t get to be President anymore.

Empty rhetoric is dangerous. Saying “fuck” isn’t.

And anyone who disagrees can lick my motherfucking balls.

Memo: U.S., Britain bent on war in Iraq

Key points in the memo, confirmed by The New York Times and NBC News: Bush said it was “unlikely there would be internecine warfare between the different religious and ethnic groups.” Blair agreed.

This memo is clearly a forgery. Anybody with half a brain knows that Bush would not have used the term “internecine warfare.” He would have used terminology more befitting of the leader of the free world. Something like, “Big guns go boom.”

Blair asked about “aftermath planning.” Condoleezza Rice, then Bush?s national security adviser, said that “a great deal of work was now in hand.”

Here we have a misunderstanding based on the language barrier between American English and British English.

Blair was apparently asking about planning for the “aftermath” of the invasion. But Rice obviously misunderstood him to be talking about “after math planning,” which she believed to be a reference to dealing with the President after his daily math lesson.

“No, Mr. President, two plus two does not equal five … No sir, not even in Texas … Yes, I know your daddy was the President, but that doesn’t mean — … You don’t have to kick me, sir … Mr. President, holding your breath like that is not going to change the simple mathematical fact that two plus two does not — … Well, I don’t think Executive Orders were really designed for that purpose, sir … Of course. I’ll inform the Department Of Mathematics of your decision. Thank you, Mr. President.”

The Abu Ghraib files

279 photographs and 19 videos from the Army’s internal investigation record a harrowing three months of detainee abuse inside the notorious prison — and make clear that many of those responsible have yet to be held accountable.

There are no words.

Okay, there’s one: ASHAMED.

Durbin: It’s Too Early to Censure Bush

A top Senate Democrat said Sunday that President Bush should be held responsible if he violated the law in authorizing the domestic spy program. But Sen. Dick Durbin of Illinois said it is too early to tell if either censure or impeachment of Bush would be appropriate.

Finally, a Democrat with some sense. We can’t rush into censuring or impeaching the President. We need to take reasoned, measured steps in this process. We need to ask the right questions before we make a rush to judgment.

For example, some argue that President Bush and his advisors should be impeached for starting an illegal war by misleading Congress and the American public with fabricated and manipulated intelligence.

Others say impeachment should be based on his gross incompetence in all facets of domestic and foreign policy, or his explicit and implicit authorization of torture, or his complete obliteration of worldwide goodwill towards our country.

What these radicals don’t realize is that the Constituion clearly delineates unintentional lapses in judgment like these — I believe the Constitution refers to them as “oopsies” — from impeachable “high crimes and misdemeanors.”

In order to even talk about impeachment, the Democrats need to, at the minimum, prove that President Bush has tossed a baby in a burlap bag and beaten it with a lead pipe. Until then, any discussion of impeachment is completely unwarranted.

(And whatever happened at Dick Cheney’s birthday party doesn’t count. It was Dick Cheney’s idea, everyone had been drinking, and the baby didn’t even cry that much after the first couple of blows. Besides, “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”)

Durbin’s colleague, Sen. Russell Feingold, D-Wis., last week introduced censure legislation, saying Bush violated the law in not fully informing Congress or getting approval from a secretive court to conduct the eavesdropping program. A censure resolution, if adopted, would amount to Congress scolding the president.

Personally, I’m looking forward to the censure just so I can watch John Kerry stand up on the Senate floor and say, “Bad President! Bad, bad, bad President! Look what you did! Look what you did! Who’s going to clean that up, huh? No Jerky Treat for you!”

Then Joe Lieberman grabs the President by the collar and rubs his nose in it.

Study: Most Get Mediocre Health Care

“It doesn’t matter who you are. It doesn’t matter whether you’re rich or poor, white or black, insured or uninsured,” said chief author Dr. Steven Asch, at the Rand Health research institute, in Santa Monica, Calif. “We all get equally mediocre care.”

See? That’s what makes this country so great. It doesn’t matter who you are — black, white, rich poor — we all have the right to die from a massive brain hemmorhage on the floor of an overcrowded emergency room.

Who needs universal health care when we already have universally bad health care?

Overall, patients received only 55 percent of recommended steps for top-quality care — and no group did much better or worse than that.

I hate the double standards in this country. If this was baseball and I told you a player was hitting .550, you’d say he deserves to be MVP. But suddenly when we’re talking about health care, 55% is a problem? Bullshit.

Maybe instead of focusing on the numbers, we should focus on the actual steps being taken. Sure, only half the recommended things are being done — but maybe they’re the most important steps.

Say you get stabbed in the gut with a javelin. They cut you open and remove the javelin from your lower intestines. Now, sure, technically they should have given you an anaesthetic before operating. And yes, usually they suture the wound after surgery.

But do we really have to get hung up on details here? Isn’t the fact that they removed the javelin what’s really important? What’s worse: walking around with a javelin sticking out of your gut, or screaming yourself raw while dying a slow, painful death with your entrails hanging out through an unsutured wound?

Right. The javelin. At least you can wear a baggy sweater to cover the intestines spilling from your torso. As for the screaming … set it to music. Maybe you’ll get a record contract.

Hey, it worked for Korn.