Video Shows Bush Warned Before Katrina Hit

Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid of Nevada said the video “confirms what we have suspected all along, that this Administration did anything they can to hide what really happened.” He said the administration “systematically misled the American people.”

What the hell is he complaining about? It’s their job to systematically mislead the American people. That’s why we elect them.

The truth will set you free. It will also serve you tater tots.

When I’m deciding who to vote for on Election Day, I make that decision on who tells better lies. “If he gets elected, we all get $300 and a blowjob from Jessica Biel? Where do I sign?”

I don’t want a representative government that’s going to tell me the truth. I want someone to hold my hand. To stroke my hair. To spoon with me and tell me everything is going to be alright.

I want a government that makes me pudding and wraps me in my favorite blanket, then reads me bedtime stories about how my ancestors conquered the heathen red man to bring God’s Word to the New World.

“The truth will set you free.” No, it won’t. Fuck that. The truth will spray you in the face with battery acid to blind you while it takes out your kneecaps with a tire iron.

The truth is the lunch lady with one tit and the watery eyes that remind you of rancid apple juice, licking out the gallon can of refried beans she pulled from the dumpster behind the cafeteria.

Lies, on the other hand, are the hot high school cheerleaders in nothing but panties and wife-beaters, playing Spin The Bottle and exploring their lesbian proclivities at an all-girl sleepover party.

Lies give you a warm lotion handjob while telling you that help is on the way, the check is in the mail, and they’ve never slept with anyone but you.