Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight

The fight was slated when an angry fan contested Yang Sihamoni, President of the CMFL, claiming that one lion could defeat his entire league of 42 fighters.

The fight was called in only 12 minutes, after which 28 fighters were declared dead, while the other 14 suffered severe injuries including broken bones and lost limbs, rendering them unable to fight back.

Today is a sad day for mankind. Not because of the violence spiraling out of control in Iraq. Not because corporate war-mongers have taken over both political parties. No. Today will go down in history for one reason, and one reason only:

The age-old truce between midgets and lions … has been broken.

Only the most aged amongst can recall a time when midgets and lions lived in anything other than peace and harmony. Memories of wild lions’ bloodlust for fresh midget flesh have long faded from our collective consciousness.

The Midget-Lion Armistice of 1923, signed in good faith by representatives of both parties, has long been a model of diplomacy in action. Second only to the Magna Carta in historical significance, its provisions maintained a fragile equilibrium between midgets’ fondness for lion mane toupees and lions’ insatiable appetite for midget innards.

Sadly, the peace that so many worked so hard to achieve has now been torn asunder. Our world will never be the same.

Go with God, brave midget warriors.

NOTE: A team of highly-trained lion propagandists — many of whom are proteges of master Republican political propagandist Karl Rove — have tried to paint the original BBC article as a fake. Do not believe their lies.